Over time your caring role is likely to change and may come to an end. The person you care for may move into a different setting and/or be cared for by someone else. Or your caring role may come to an end because a relationship breaks down or the person you care for dies.
Whatever the circumstances, changes to your caring role can bring very mixed emotions and may leave a big gap in your life. It can be hard to know who to turn to or what to do next. We can support you through transitions, to prepare for endings and in the aftermath of the event. We recognise that you may still have a very active caring role, and need support in your own right, even when the person you care for is in full-time residential care or living in supported accommodation.
We are also here for you for up to 12 months after your caring role ends, and can offer practical, emotional, and social support to help you adjust to your new circumstances and begin to rebuild your life.
In the longer term, there are also opportunities to remain connected to Carers of East Lothian (CoEL) through volunteering.
Practical matters
What to do after a death
A step-by-step UK wide guide that explains what to do when someone dies, including how to register the death and notify government departments using the “Tell Us Once” service.
The “Tell Us Once” service only informs government departments, including:
- His Majesty’s Revenue and Customs (HMRC)
- Department for Work and Pensions (DWP)
- Social Security Scotland (SSS)
- Driving and Vehicle Licencing Agency (DVLA)
- Local council
You will have to contact other financial organisations, such as the person’s bank, mortgage provider, insurance provider, workplace pension scheme etc, separately to tell them the person had died.
Another practical guide that explains the law in Scotland specifically as it applies after a death: What to do after a death in Scotland.
Arranging and paying for a funeral
Caledonia Funeral Aid offer free support to people in Scotland who have experienced a loss or are thinking about end-of-life planning. They have a practical guide to arranging a funeral in Scotland.
They provide information on the costs to expect. They can also support you to apply for funding if you are struggling to pay for a funeral.
You can contact their compassionate advisors on 03000 11 33 01 or email caledonia@funerals.scot.
If you are in receipt of certain benefits, you may qualify for the Scottish Government’s Funeral Support Payment.
Benefits review
You may find it helpful to have a benefits review with our Welfare Rights Coordinator to find out what financial support you may be entitled to when your caring role changes significantly or comes to an end.
Please call our office line 0131 665 0135, or speak to your named worker, to request a benefits review.
Emotional support
Ongoing support from COEL
If you already have a named worker at COEL, or attend one of our peer support groups, we can continue to support you for up to 12 months after your caring role ends.
For bereavement support specifically, you may wish to explore the following services:
NHS Lothian bereavement service
NHS Lothian provide a range of information and support services to bereaved relatives, carers and staff. For more information, please visit their website NHS Lothian Bereavement Service.
St Columba’s Hospice
The Family Support Team provide pre- and post-bereavement support to families and carers of people who have contact with hospice services or the palliative care team. To find out more about what they can offer please call 0131 551 7760 or visit St Columba’s Hospice Support For You.
Local bereavement support groups
- Bereavement Support Group NHS Lothian CoEL (Poster)
- Stepping Stones (Poster)
National bereavement support services
- At-a-Loss
At-a-Loss provides an online directory of bereavement support. Use the filters to find services that are relevant to the circumstances of your loss, your preferences and/or your local area. - Cruse Bereavement Care Scotland
Cruse Scotland provides professional support for bereaved adults, children and families across Scotland. They offer 1-to-1 and group support in the early stages of bereavement, and grief counselling six plus months after a death.
National Bereavement Helpline: 0808 802 6161
Cruse Bereavement Support - Sue Ryder
Sue Ryder offer online bereavement support including free video counselling, an online community, and advice and resources on coping with grief.
They also have a series of short videos or “Grief Kind Classes” explaining what grief is like and how to support people who are grieving. - Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) offer UK peer-led support to adults impacted by suicide loss. Call for support on 0300 111 5065 or visit Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide to explore their online services. - Widowed and Young
Widowed and Young provide peer to peer emotional and practical support people aged 50 or under as they adjust to life after the death of a partner. - Age UK’s Silver Line
Age UK’s Silver Line gives anyone aged 55 or over the opportunity to exchange a friendly word, access support, or enjoy a long enriching conversation.
Age UK’s Silver Line 24-hour support line for older people: 0800 470 8090.
Keeping connected to COEL
If you wish to remain connected to COEL in the longer term, and use your strengths, skills and interests in a new role, there are plenty of opportunities to volunteer with us. Roles range from being a befriender to a board member, a fundraiser to a group facilitator, an admin assistant to an advocate for carers on our Carers Panel.
Volunteers are an essential part of the COEL team and receive training, support and expenses.
For an informal chat about volunteering with COEL, please call us on 0131 665 0135 or at centre@coel.org.uk to request a call back from our Volunteer Coordinator.
If you are interested in joining a group of carers and former carers who meet regularly to find solutions for different issues for carers, you can find out more information here about our Carers’ Panel.
