I am 34 almost 35 years old. I have had fibro(myalgia) since I was 12 but it has got progressively worse as I have gotten older. I never used to have any walking aids when I am outside but now, I need to walk with a crutch because I stumble. My left knee locks so it is very difficult to care for others as well as care for myself at the same time. I need to rest in bed myself with my own pain.
Caring for multiple people I do struggle mentally as well as physically. If I get too stressed out or I am just having a bad day its pushing through your own pain to help others. Even just loading the washing machine I am (exhausted). I plan to move out, but I am still going to be down everyday to check in and ensure they have everything they need. I will help them with their shopping, loading into the car, unloading into the house and putting away. I have been the one doing all the lifting when it comes to shopping. I just, I don’t know, it’s a very difficult role to be in because you do not want to take their independence away, but you also do not want them to hurt themselves.
It’s like going round a roller coaster everyday with only little aspects of the ride being slightly different and you don’t…get off. It’s the same thing everyday and I deal with it on my own and I do have mental health issues. If I am feeling very low, very tearful and rubbish I go to my mum for support. It’s more difficult trying to manage your own health issues and manage two others at the same time.
Sometimes it’s the hardest parts of life that can often give you the most joy. I love helping, I love the time I get with them, and I get more time with them than anyone else. When I move out I still will, I will still be able to see them every day and I will still be able to help them, but I need to move out for myself. I need to have a place to go where I am not in that role. Where I can be not the carer, I can be… just me.
I don’t always have to be a carer, I can still be a daughter. People often forget that part – there is more to being a carer, you are still a family member, a friend. I will always be their daughter first, and their carer second.
